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The Archie Bunker formula

(Jerusalem Post) Sarah Honig; 06-18-1999

A couple of decades ago Archie Bunker came up with a formula for a balanced administration for New York City: "You get Feldman for treasurer. That's perfect. Them people know how to handle money, y'know what I mean? Then you get Salvatory for district attorney - to keep an eye on Feldman. And let me tell you about them Eyetalians - when you do find an honest one, you really got something! Then you get a Mick - O'Reilly - to make sure the graft is equally distributed. And you get Nelson, a regular American, to do the TV appearances, to make the rest of them look respectable." With a few adaptations, the above could well serve as Ehud Barak's model for his own coalition, now that Aryeh Deri has gotten out of his way and released him from his excruciating, aimless meanderings down the the minority government dead-end road.

It was clear Barak could not take a route which would deprive him of the moral authority to make the most fateful decisions any Israeli government has ever had to make. Painful territorial concessions and long-term risks for the Jewish state cannot be based on the votes of Arab MKs, who might just possibly not have the best interests of the Jewish state at heart. Barak couldn't easily turn to the Likud, which is now too absorbed in its internal leadership contest and would anyhow be a troublesome partner. Besides, plenty of Laborites will pay anything to keep Ariel Sharon and his party out. So intimidated are they by Sharon's demands for the foreign affairs portfolio (which, incidentally, they also just happen to covet), that they will take anyone instead. No price will be too high. This brings us to Shas. Can Barak hope for more reliable coalition partners than its 17 look-alike MKs? For sufficiently lucrative recompense they will be as disciplined as automatons, will toe his line religiously, and will not pester him with dangerously independent ideas. They will also usher the NRP and UTJ into his coalition.

Realizing this, Barak engaged in some hard bargaining with Shas way before Deri's announcement. While denying the clandestine, indirect contacts, he let Shas know that although the number of its MKs entitles it to four ministers, he can only grant it three. The word back from Shas was that it would settle for nothing less than any other party and would not be a second-class partner. Barak offered Labor and Welfare, Health as well as Tourism. Shas replied that it would say yes only if it also got the Finance Ministry. Deri' s move now takes Barak's haggling with Shas out of the closet. If anything, the horse trading will intensify. THERE is little doubt in Shas that even if Barak actually assigns Finance to someone else first, he will soon discover that he cannot do without Shas. This will inspire him to see the light and pay up. He may even serendipitously recall that there is ample evidence from the past that those Shas people are actually quite adroit financially - just what Archie frequently noted about Jews. This is why he so ardently advocated putting the purse strings in Feldman's hands. Archie would no doubt have advised Barak that, based on its record, Shas is ideally suited for Finance.

Even Archie would not have failed to be amazed by the vast empire Shas built from scratch and the taxpayer's generous help. Then he would have recommended Yisrael Ba'aliya to keep an eye on Shas, primarily because it is so leery of Shas kontrol. Moreover, just a brief visit here would have exposed Archie to local lore about the Russian mafia. So, whatever Salvatory could do in the Big Apple, it only stands to reason that Sharansky and Co. can do in the Holy Land. Then you definitely need the NRP in there, not only to even the picture rightwards, but also to make sure that all segments of society - like the settlements and the State Religious schools - get their fair share of the spoils. That would endow Barak with a harmonious, sizable and stable coalition. To market the package and make it all glatt kosher he would need a regular Israeli. This is a perfect job for Yossi Sarid. His seal of approval would render the deal unassailable. Should Sarid, however, decline to play along, Archie could no doubt come up with other regular Israelis to represent Barak's coalition on TV. Shlomo Ben-Ami is a name that would come instantly to Archie' s mind. He sounds so sincere and strikes such a fine balance between a professorial highbrow and the folksy boy who made it through the school of hard knocks.

Ben-Ami, after all, has lately rediscovered Shas and pronounced that it isn't one bit as bad as it was made out to be during the campaign. Then it made electoral sense to bash Shas. Now, after that line has brought in all the votes it could, there is no point in pursuing it unnecessarily. As Archie would sagaciously point out, if given Finance, Shas could do for the entire country the wonders it did for El Hama'ayan. It wouldn't then even care how many Russian call girls Yisrael Ba'aliya allows in, or even if the NRP expands a few hesder yeshivas or builds an extra kindergarten and playground in every settlement. Besides, just think how much respectability Ben-Ami could bestow on this combination, when he represents it on TV and waxes poetic over Pax Bunkeriana. Copyright 1999 Jerusalem Post. All Rights Reserved Sarah Honig, The Archie Bunker formula.

Jerusalem Post, 06-18-1999, pp 08B.